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 The Humpin' Phantom of the Barracuda Club

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Number of posts : 1103
Registration date : 2009-05-17

PostSubject: The Humpin' Phantom of the Barracuda Club   Tue May 18, 2010 7:07 pm

The Humpin' Phantom of the Barracuda Club.
By Paul Dale Roberts, Extrasensory Kommissar

I have written over 300 paranormal articles. You can call me prolific if you like. I feel it is necessary to get the paranormal information out to the public, it's as important as any other news. With all of the articles that are published, my contact information can be found in these articles, including my email address and phone number.

I get many phone calls in regard to the paranormal. Some people call me because they have questions about various paranormal topics. Others call me because they need an investigation of their home. Others call me to tell me paranormal stories and ask for advice or suggestions to get rid of an entity. Last night, I got one of those calls. Here is how it went down.

X-Files Ringtone.

Paul: Hello.

Heather: Is this the paranormal victims hotline?

Paul: It is the paranormal hotline, not so much 'victim'.

Heather: Well, I am a victim. My name is Heather. My two girlfriends Lysla and Carmen have also witnessed this creepy ghost that seems to follow me around!

Paul: What is this creepy ghost? How long has it been following you?

Heather: Two years ago me, Lysla, Carmen and some dude named Ronnie were playing with a Ouija Board and a touchy creepy ghost came around. It touches all of the girls. Ronnie thought we were crazy, he was never touched. It seems to follow me around the most. This is embarrassing, but I have to tell you, it humps on me, Lysla and Carmen! Yesterday, we went to the Barracuda Club and this creepy axx ghost was humpin' on all 3 of us, one at a time. The three of us were all dancing on the floor together. It was f---- embarrassing, I know my skirt went up!

Special Note: Since this article deals with a 'Humpin' Phantom', I would deem it appropriate that Humpin' by The Gap Band be the theme song to this article. To hear this song, click on the link below.
Humpin' - The Gap Band

Paul: Where are you from Heather?

Heather: Portland, Oregon.

Paul: The Barracuda Club is in Portland?

Heather: Yes.

Paul: You understand the dangers of Ouija Boards? I give a long explanation of the dangers of Ouija Boards, opening up portals, dark forces entering the lives of unsuspecting participants, etc, etc.

After talking with Heather and her two girlfriends over speaker phone, it appears the girls are going to take a break from their partying and get re-baptized, so they can get rid of this humpin' phantom. Godspeed to both of them.

Below is HPI news, updates and anything else under a full moon!

HPI Mission Statement:

We are here to seek the truth, we are here to either validate your claims or debunk your claims. We seek to give you a peace of mind. We are here to help and assist. When there is no one else to call, HPI is ready to provide the best professionalism and service for any and all paranormal claims.

Below is a spooky poem sent to us by one of my readers!

The Silencer

Lurking through my window he stares
Watching me while I sleep.
Longing for my body.
Yearning for my touch.
Lovingly he watches me….

Feeling the presence of someone
I toss and turn in my bed.
Opening my eyes I see the shadow.
It is… The Silencer….

His face pressed against my window.
My breathing is ceased.
Slowly I rise from my bed.
I open the shades and he vanishes…
In disbelief I sit at the edge of my bed.
Was it all in my head?
It is The Silencer…

In the wee hours of the night,
The sound of scatter glass awakes me.
I see his shadow from my bed.
It is The Silencer…

I am living in a new place,
With an alarm I feel so safe.
It’s a stormy night.
I feel the presence of The Silencer in my bed.
He is stroking my hair.
Quickly, I turn but there is no one there.
It must be a nightmare.
I fall asleep again.
I awake to a passionate lover.
Hungrily, he is touching and kissing me all over.
The Silencer is making love to me so exhilaratingly.
Then I fall into a deep sleep…

Lyrics: Silkia Aponte
8/13/09 - (c) Copyright 2010 - All Rights Reserved

Paul Dale Roberts, HPI General Manager
aka The Demon Warrior
Shannon McCabe's HPI (Haunted and Paranormal Investigations International)
Cellular Paranormal Hotline: 916 203 7503
If you have a possible investigation call: 1-888-709-4HPI
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